NiallOK’s Blog

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Went down to my local Spar last night with the missus for sweeties and ice cream and stuff… y’know… as you do… and yeah, I know it was hardly a new experience for me to see a crowd of bling-wearing tracksuited smoking mouthy teenagers hanging around doing nothing outside the store but it still made me despair for the future. I mean… these guys, or at least some of them, if you’ll indulge me for a second, are presumably the politicians and the leaders of the future. It’s a disturbing thought.

Anyway… as I was queueing to pay for my Magnum White (*yum!*), the usual hoopy-earringed crowd of 14 to 17-year old mothers were hanging around inside the store talking like 50-year olds about the country being in a terrible state and generally annoying the store staff. (How the staff put up with these idiots on a daily basis is beyond me.) They seem to bring their kids to the local Spar to train them up early so that they’ll be prepared for their own teenage years when all they’ll do is stand outside local shops themselves in a curiously Jay and Silent Bob style (although nowhere near as cool…)

Walking out the door my path was blocked by a baby girl and her stooping (roughly 16 year old) mother who was helping her and encouraging her to walk, which made me smile sympathetically… for a second… until the mother said “C’mon Shakira, you can do it,.. I haven’t got all f**kin’ day, like!”…
Shakira. The poor kid was called Shakira. I thought Shania, Alisha, Britney and Beyoncé were bad enough but Sha-bleedin’-kira? Shakira’s Colombian! How far away from Ireland can you get? In fairness, what’s wrong with regular girls names like Pauline, Mary, Audrey, Joan, Anne, etc. etc.? I even hear that older names like Alice, Grace, Georgina, Marianne, Margaret, Elizabeth, etc. are coming back into fashion. Or how about a nice Irish name like Deirdre, Niamh, Caoimhe, Sorcha, Clodagh, Maebh, etc.? … ANYTHING but bloody Shakira! To top it off, poor “Shakira” looked about 2-3′ish years old and ALREADY had toddler sized hoopy earrings. I guess you could think of them like training stabilizer wheels on a bike.
And then you feel old… complaining about “young people today”… gah!… but really… what a shower of shits! (well… that tracksuited skangery hanging-around-outside-shops portion of them anyway…)
Some people just shouldn’t be allowed reproduce.