NiallOK’s Blog

Hi there! First time here? Feel free to subscribe to my RSS feed. If you like what you read, you can vote for me on IrishBlogs.info. Thanks for visiting!

	Yeah… don’t get why this house (near Donabate beach) has a confederate flag flying outside. Maybe this girl lives there. Yeah. (Maybe not…)
Tayto’s answer to Pringles? … “Toobz”. Yeah, that’ll work. Do they have a BLINGIN’ CAR? … I THINK NOT!!!
	What, so THEY’re allowed park illegaly? And up ON the footpaths, no less! . . Wow… that was a nice lazy blog post…

A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mam and yourself.

I’ve been finding real passion with Jacinta, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings’, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. Oh, and she’s from Leitrim.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Jacinta said that we will be very happy. She has her own caravan in the woods, and a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Jacinta has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the the other people living with us in the commune, for all the speed, crack and E tabs we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Jacinta can get better. She sure deserves it!Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Brian.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m really over at Deco’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the Leaving Cert results sitting on the kitchen table.

Look, people… stop being afraid to say what you’re thinking, … what you really feel!

When she asks you “does my bum look big in this?”, don’t be afraid to say “yes, but that’s because you’ve got a big arse, love;- it’d look big in anything, you know?” (and possibly tack on “of course, you know I like it that way…”)

When she asks “do you like my new haircut?”, don’t be afraid to say “no, it makes you look like a lesbian. I used to think that lesbians were hot, but you just arsed that one up for me, didn’t you? Nice one, thanks! … Oh, I’m being sarcastic by the way. Had to tell you that, as girls don’t recognise sarcasm. Y’know,… just like Americans”.

And if she ENDLESSLY asks you about turning that engagement into a marriage, when the debts are going to be cleared, when you’re going to “make good on that commitment”, because Christ she’s been waiting forever - starting about a week after you put the fucking ring on her finger, … then run… run now and run very fast.

That’s all the advice my drink-addled mind can currently give. Why I feel the need to give advice right now, I don’t know. And by the way - DO, please note that my advice right now is probably worth precisely fuck-all

I’d kill for a pack of cigarettes. I’d do bad stuff for just one.

Ain’t gonna happen though!

And now for another excuse to have a picture of scantily clad females on the blog!

From Fox News comes the story that a study conducted by the Katholieke Universiteit Leuven in Belgium has shown that men influenced by sexy stimuli such as women in bikinis become more impulsive.

Well, duh!

The details of the study, published in the Journal of Consumer Research, show that men allowed to fondle t-shirts and bikinis (not on females at the time) placed more value on the present and less on the future. Researchers conclude that there is one common appetite system in the brain and when its stimulated, it wants to be rewarded.

Apparently though, this increased impulsiveness is not due to the common idea that men are more sexually distracted, - but it’s due to their arousal causing improved cognition and creativity.

Oh yes.