NiallOK’s Blog

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A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mam and yourself.

I’ve been finding real passion with Jacinta, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings’, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. Oh, and she’s from Leitrim.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Jacinta said that we will be very happy. She has her own caravan in the woods, and a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Jacinta has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the the other people living with us in the commune, for all the speed, crack and E tabs we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Jacinta can get better. She sure deserves it!Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Brian.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m really over at Deco’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the Leaving Cert results sitting on the kitchen table.

Howdy America… what’s the craic? Doing well? Good stuff… Okay, first off… this is your day… Happy Independence Day! You’ve been free from British rule for 232 years… go you! Don’t get TOO drunk now… (of course, for most of you, that means four beers)… Secondly… Forget Obama, Forget McCain… here’s the guy you want to vote for to replace George W. Bush with! Yeah… it’s Zaphod Beeblebrox! He’s a real switched-on hoopy frood who knows where his towel is… AND… he has an inspirational and uplifting campaing song…

… and yes, that’s good old Neil Hannon of the Divine Comedy on the vocals!

(This is a Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy joke. If you’ve read/seen/heard it, you’ll get it. If you haven’t read/seen/heard it, go read, see and hear it now!)

According to scientists, 4 and a half years ago (I’m SO up to date!), this is the worlds funniest joke.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”

The ‘boffins’ said “the joke was interesting because it worked across many different countries and appealed to men and women and young and old alike” - that it “had real universal appeal”.

Now I don’t know much about humour, but I know what I like - and while I can see their point about its universal appeal, I’m sure I’ve heard much funnier jokes in my time (granted I can’t remember any off the top of my head…) and hell, maybe things have even changed in the intervening years.

What’s the funniest joke you’ve heard?

Oh and speaking of jokes, it’s April Fools Day tomorrow. Here’s 10 harmless pranks (for geeks) that you can play on your loved-ones, co-workers, friends, etc. Enjoy!

I’m returning to playing football tonight… and that’s no joke :p More on that, in some later bulletin.